Run #3

I just finished by third run and I have determined that I can do this. Sure I was about to pass out and sure I burst in the door wheezing and looking like I was ready to have a heart attack,



but I made it. I went 1.15 miles and I hated the last 75% of it. But I did it. Every time I thought I was going to have to quit, the phrase "Mental Toughness" popped into my head and I kept going. So keep going.

Love and kisses.

P.S. The actual phrase was "Hey half-marathon, go f*** yourself!" but this is a family show.

Today's miles: 1.15
Total miles: 3.0

Missed Run

I intended to run last night. I really did, but some things came up and I haven't run since Friday and I am worried that this might develop into a habit. I am for sure running tonight because the last thing I want to do is let myself down by getting lazy and flaking out. So I go forward with a new resolve. Even if I have to run in the middle of the night or early in the morning, I am not going to miss another scheduled run.

Here's why. Yesterday, they had health screenings at work. Apparently, Chuck wants us to be healthy little cats and gave us an incentive of $100 if we did it. Here are the results:

Height: 6' 2"

Weight: 228 lbs.

BMI: 29.1

Body fat percentage: 25.9

So based on this, it should be obvious that I need to trim down a little bit. It continues.

Blood pressure: 124/74

Not the end of the world, in fact, this shows that I have reduced it by quite a bit.

Total Cholesterol: 226

HDL (good) cholesterol: 32

Ratio: 7.1

Same story, I need to lower my total and raise my HDL.

Waist circumference: 45 This is the one that I wasn't going to include because it is embarassing, but in the interest of full disclosure and motivation, I had to include it.

I do have an impressive stat in the midst of all this fattery, my blood sugar. It was at 92 mg/dl. I should start to be worried if it is greater than 120 ml/dl. This impressed me, because last year, it was low as well, which assuages my fears about getting diabetes any time soon. Not that I can rest on my laurels, but I am not worried about Wilford Brimley knocking on my door.

So that's my current status. I intend to improve from there, and I am convinced that I will. To quote Adam, Prince of Eternia "I have the power!" and to quote a young, mumbling Julian "Jack" Fletcher "Umpaaa!"

Now, since no one really cares about running and you all are really here to be entertained. I am going to tell you a joke I just made up.

-What movie is a diabetic's favorite?
-My Left Foot

Hi-yo!

Love and kisses.

Shabbat

Since my legs are sufficiently sore, and I just worked for ten hours, I am taking the day off from running; kind of an eff this ess day. When I am not actively exercising, or recovering from exercise, I have a hard time not eating crap. For example, Laura is making Macaroni and Bacon, which is Annie's brand White Cheddar macaroni and cheese with lots of bacon in it. Lots. Of. Bacon.


Side note about Kevin Bacon: In 2003, Katie Brunelle (nee Smythe) tried to get me to put my hair into a pompadour despite my firmly held convictions that blond pompadours are stupid. Side Side note:If you don't have dark hair, you shouldn't try to look like a greaser. Actually, you shouldn't ever try to look like a greaser. 1955 is gone and it's never coming back. For your viewing pleasure, I present what happens when you have a blond pomp.


Back to the original side note! So Katie tried to give me a Blond Pompadour and it made me look like Kevin Bacon. I was furious. Absolutely furious. Nobody wants to look like Kevin Bacon. Not even Eric (see previous post) wants to look like Kevin Bacon. Here's the problem. I swear she used some unholy combination of Bear Grease, epoxy, and three kinds of cement to make it stick. It took forever to get out and I basically looked like Kevin Bacon for three days. Furious.

Oh yeah, this is a blog about running.

So I did go for about 1/3 of a mile, but I was walking the whole time because I was at work and i was just circling the building, so I don't think that really counts. To add in some legitimate exercise, I did some free-weights tonight. I am tired now and trying not to eat the Macaroni and Bacon. You can guess how effective that will be. So that's all for today. Tomorrow will be the actual sabbath, so I will probably rest again. Love and kisses.

P.S. Yes, I do realize this post is titled "Shabbat" and I spent most of it talking about how much I love bacon, so don't bother pointing that out. Sorry Jews . . . and Muslims . . . and pigs.

Run #2

So, I upped my distance today. I ran a mile and I am beginning to remember why it is that I don't run a lot. I am out of shape. 100 yards from home, I wanted to give up and walk the rest of the way. But then an image popped into my head. The image that haunts me every time I reach for another no-bake, or choose DP instead of water. This guy.
Now, I really could have put that 1200 lb. guy from Mexico, or Al Roker (pre-stomach staple), or maybe Dom DeLouise (R.I.P.), but I really don't think that those are likely scenarios. As sedentary as I am, I am active enough and don't eat enough to get that obese. What is very likely is that I will always be this guy. We'll call him Eric.

While Eric isn't too overweight, he has the obvious gut. Additionally, he has moobs, man boobs, he-hooters, whatever you would like to call them. These aren't your normal, "Even Kiera Knightly would hardly be jealous" flab-pockets. He has a spare tire sitting on top of his spare tire. Eric is a wet-nurse.

I don't want to be Eric. I don't think even Eric wants to be Eric. That aside, he is obviously comfortable enough with his body to take a topless photoshoot and let it be posted on the internet. So I move on to the bigger reason why I need to not be Eric and why you need to not be Eric. Eric will probably have some sort of Heart Condition, or maybe diabetes. Ladies don't like the spare tire, but ladies really don't like the amputated leg.

Unless you're this guy.

So I am going to keep running, even though I fear it may kill me. Someday soon, it won't be as awful as it currently is. Love and kisses.

Today's Mileage: 1.0
Total Mileage: 1.85

Half Marathon

So yesterday, Laura and I signed up for a half-marathon. We gave a lot of (read: no) thought to it beforehand, and already paid the non-refundable entry fee, so here we are. This blog will catalog the transformation of two overweight layabouts into Carl and Carla Lewis.



Wait, Carl Lewis was a sprinter, so that is hardly a good comparison. You know what? I will be Steve Prefontaine's mustache.



And Laura will be FloJo's sweet, sweet hair.



Last night was our proverbial fat tuesday before we begin the four months of training and preparation for this seemingly insurmountable task. Laura enjoyed a Kit Kat and some Mexican food from El Rico's. I partook of Dr. Pepper, a Hershey's Cookies and Cream Bar, and a Double Orange Chicken at Panda. It was good while it lasted. And by good, I mean my stomach nearly exploded. So today is the first day of training and I have already gone for one run. I ran a half mile and I dern near puked. After the run, I entered my apartment panting and quoting G.O.B.

"I've made a huge mistake."

So this is where it begins. I am jazzed about the race. We will destroy this thing. Feel free to check up on our progress throughout the coming months. Love and kisses.

Today's Mileage: .85
Total Mileage: .85